How do you swot to be confident and assertive and not timid, subserviant or aggressive ?
iam panicky, timid...avoid going out, except when i have to..own the fight or flight sensations.i have flashbacks contained by my mind and in my mind...iam still warfare the bullies and victimizers.
i try desperatly to be confident and assertive, unafraid, but i always fall through miserably.
if i percieve iam threatened.or feel intimidated.i promptly become anxious and panicky...hyperventilate.have the scrap or flight feelings..lose composure..struggle to breed eye contact with the personage who i percieve as threatening me or looking at me...i can percieve simple looks or glances, as a threat..i own done for a while and not sure why this is.mainly when im out.
i hysterics and quickly become aggresive and surrounded by a rage, because i discern im not pulling off man confident & self assured...i lose composure
Answers:
It sounds resembling your struggling to find yourself. In my early 30s I to struggled. I search for answers to many question and concerns. I than found myself learning more give or take a few spirituality and inner healing through meditation. I looked at adjectives types of religious beliefs and ceremonies, I even dabble in witchcraft. I short, I open my mind to all.
One intensely important piece I learned be to forgive myself for being a target than I forgave all that victimized me. I did this inwardly myself and I had to practice this habitually to make it successfully. I than worked on my self esteem, finding what I be the best at and building on it until others considered me one of the best at it.
I learned to except myself as what I am within appearance, intelligence, good parts and bleak. This allowed me to see the things I could change to be paid me feel better going on for me making me more self confident.
There is a lot more to revise and explore about building a better you but for immediately I hope you might find a little insight from this answer. righteous luck and remember to smile in the facade of intimidation.
Have you sort professional sustain, from the mental health services, start beside a vist to your GP.
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You need to see a psychiatric therapist. They could work with you giving you assignments that would unhurriedly allow you to try being confident and assertive. If you practiced on small things and worked to slightly bigger and bigger things you enjoy a higher fortune of success. However, I really have a feeling a therapist desires to work with you on this. Good luck.
It sounds as though you enjoy a number of issues going on, and I don't believe that this is the best forum to resolve your situation. You are 30 years aged; and it sounds like you enjoy lived with these inner health for a large portion of those years. For that cause alone, I don't believe any flippant advise given on queue is going to heal your gaping rooted psychological problems. Extensive counseling and possibly prescription medication is the avenue you may need to thieve. I wish you the best surrounded by your endeavor to find help.
Added: I believe you are doing the asker an injustice by in recent times sugar coating her concerns under the auspice of need of confidence or low-self esteem. True, she may suffer from this as well, but here is a human being who by her own admission be victimized and bullied earlier surrounded by her life and at points within her life use to, if now, lashed out at empire becoming angry and even growling. Now this sounds like a party who is harboring feelings of despair, without a doubt anger and maybe even at herself, and even lonliness. Feelings such as these, if not here unaddressed professionally may lead one to suicide or even homicide, and at the lowest a feeling of worthlessness. I still recommend seeking prefessional counseling. Now when I suggested medication (such as something for anxiety), she may eventually know how to discontinue their use if she learns through counseling how to cope and conduct operations these emotions she's fancy. Until she comes to an understanding of why and how she truly feel the way she does going on for herself and her future, it is going to be difficult for her to breed a positive change.
I have a 20 year old nephew near a similar dilemma. He was other a big kid. People picked on him all the time. Bullies are a moment ago people near issues that find by forcibly asserting themselves they can momentarily feel better nearly them selves. Like a person who wishes a fix to get them through the morning or afternoon.
Confidence is something you have to grow. Confidence way no what you are capable of intimately. If you want confidence you enjoy to realize where it comes from and where on earth it comes from is familiarity near who you are and what you do.
I am a very confident creature. However, if I was to try working surrounded by an office setting or be in motion to over sixties dance, I would consistency really awkward and lose my confidence.
If you are passionate in the order of something, then throw yourself into that. If you enjoy other interest throw yourself into that. The reason that manager can give relatives direction is because they hold the map and know where the nation should be and what they should be doing. Managers who don't fall on their facade and are soon booted out.
You have to stay contained by your comfort zones. If you are contained by an environment right now where on earth you don't have the calmness or the freedom to find yourself, then it is time to relocate and start again. The population who bully you are keeping you from shining. So do something about it.
First of all, we are not adjectives the same i.e. some citizens have more confidence than others. EG. I've notice American women are far more forthright than British women...
We are individuals, with different strengths and weakness, and perhaps you should find out your strengths
so that you realise you own a lot to proposition other people.
Next, can you cry loudly?
If you can't, you could practice.
(Being able to screech loudly can get you out of trouble! That would comfort to boost your confidence).
Running, as a form of excercise, will also help you - on grass, not on roadsides, rather.
You could also see if your local college offers assertive training for women.
I guess when you own had satisfactory of being a casualty, you learn to avoid those situations when you surface out of depth, and when you're sick of being bullied, you swot up you have to be at odds back.
I as a result suggest Akido training. Great training - gets you within shape, helps you overcome other people's negativity, teach you how to deal near aggressive "people"
and you'll meet other family who'll hopefully become your friends too!
re: Panic attacks / Here's an excercise:
My GP told me to concentrate on my breathing i.e. breathe slowly and deeply,
and pull both my arms (almost to a speading wings position), next push arms slightly back and rotate them within circles. (That expands the chest and makes your mind focus on your body instead of the article that has made you fearful).