Mental Questions and Answers

How can I get my strength and motivation back after being very ill for a year and a half?

I have been very ill for a year and a half. I have spent that time in bed and have become very weak. My health is better now but am very weak and have lost muscle tone. What can I do to improve my strength? I feel totally wiped out and lacking motivation. Thank you.

Answers: Treat yourself well and take it slowly. I was quiet ill with glandular fever a few years ago followed by post viral fatigue and I found that initially I couldn't run a hair brush through my hair, let alone run a marathon.

So I started with daily slow walks and gentle yoga. After about three months, I built up some real stamina and my muscles were building up, I was able to do light weight training and swimming. I avoided heavy work outs and that sort of thing til my muscle tone and condition had really improved through the lighter exercise.

The other important things were that I ate well and got good sleep.

life coaching.

I need some one to talk to ?

Hi,
I was raped 3 months ago and I really feel like I need some one to talk to but I don’t know where to start. I had a councillor last year because of being abused, but this councillor betrayed my trust and kept trying to push me into prosecuting the abuser. I really didn’t feel ready at the time .Then the abuser raped me 3 months ago. Now iv started 6th form and I really want to be committed to my A levels but I just can’t be because iv always got things on my mind. I really want to do well but I feel totally alone at the moment. I have lots of friends but I just don’t feel comfortable talking to them about something this personal and I just cant face telling my family as its just too much. I just don’t feel I can talk to the police about what happened and if I go to see another councillor I don’t want that to be the focus or be pushed into it. Does anyone have any advice?

Answers: Lisa, Please don't blame yourself, you did nothing wrong.
Call this number to talk to someone. Do this as soon as possible.
1-8OO-656-HOPE

i am a trauma worker and currently reside in ireland. you can talk to me for free on skype, just add this contact: eros.biasiolo and send me a first chat. i will not push you into prosecuting the abuser, i'll leave that to you.
i have a website and i am listed in emofree.com

Oh you poor thing! What an awful time you have had. Could you find a more sympathetic councillor? Let them know what happened last time and tell them that you don't want to do the legal bit ( although that person should rot in hell for what they have done to you ) Do you have a councillor or mentor at school? They would be really sympathetic and may even go to appointments with you or maybe choose one of your trusted friends to talk to, i'm sure that they would be 100% behind you. You really do need to sort this out or it may affect the rest off your life and the abuser will have won. Please talk to someone and get the help you really need and deserve x good luck x

Try these:

Samaritans- UK: 08457 90 90 90

http://www.samaritans.org

Childline- UK: 0800 11 11

http://www.childline.org.uk

Stay strong, you have been very strong so far. The perpentrator does really deserve to be brought to justice- I don't know the ins and outs but it sounds like they have not been put off and have continued to carry on and my only concern would be that they do this again.

I am not a trained councillor and if you feel you cannot talk to friends or family then you need to take things as you feel comfortable but if there is a family member or friend that you trust and feel you could it would be beneficial for you to but only in your own time.

It sounds like you do need some one to talk to and are quite desperate hence your posting so it is very important to talk to someone.

Try to give one of the above helplines a call who know how to deal with these issues and can point you in the right direction and in your own time you can choose where to go forward with things and they will be with you every step of the way.

Stay strong, call them (they are there 24 hours) and good luck babe,my heart goes out to you. xx They can help.

Contact the rape crisis centre - http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/index.html

You must talk to someone about this - preferably a trained counsellor - why not go to your GP and ask for a referral. Can you talk to your mum about this.

You could also try the Samaritans who could help and would be able to offer you other helpful organisations in your area.

I am so sorry for your terrible experience and wish you all the best for the future. You sound like a very strong person but you do not have to be alone - there is help out there. x

Lisa, start by talking to your mother. She loves you and
will totally understand.
Please think about prosecuting this abuser before he has
chance to do it to someone else.
It will be hard but you can do it.
You sound like a very intellegent girl - dont let him ruin your
life.

A difficult one this, because of your age it is still classed as a child protection issue so most people you talk to will want to report it and will no doubt encourage you to do so. Also there is the point that people do seem to recover better if they do report it and follow through to charges being brought.

If you want to talk in total anonymity, then contact the Samaritans or Childine in the first instance. You could also try Victims Support or Rape Crisis.

I really do feel for you and I know how hard it must be, but you must seek some help to get through this. If all else fails, contact me by email and I will 'chat' with you on there.

Right now the most important thing is to do what you are comfortable with. If you want to concentrate on your A levels then do so.
People will say they understand what your going through but of course know one does because what happened to you was to you, I know how I felt when it happened to me but that doesn't help you.
Do not let yourself feel pressured into doing anything you do not want to do.
Remember it's you life so don't let him take it away from you.
What you do from now on is up to you just don't let the b*stard win.
Good luck

Hello,

(ANS) My sincere advise would be to seek out your nearest rape crisis center, why? because these centers are run by women for women, and not only that they will be very experienced, skilled, knowledgeable and sensitive to your situation.

NOTE:- Most rape crisis have a help line and they will be able to offer (I think?) face to face private & confidential counseling.

**NOTE: No! thats right the police wont be able to offer the in depth emotional nor psychological support that a good experienced counselor should be able too.

**As a fully trained & experienced counselor & therapist, I would suggest that a counselor shouldn't give you advise or push you into making any decisions as to prosecution or legal process's. Thats NOT a counselor or therapists job, they can only help you to make your own decisions.

**Rape is an extremely traumatic experience and right now you probably feel very numb, possibly that would go some way to explaining why your feeling very alone (separated) from others. Possibly your feeling very cut off which is a normal response to such a horrific experience. Given a good holding place and a good counselor, a place where you can start to feel safe once again, then and only then will you be able to start to face the real feelings.

**If you are in any doubt about a counselor or therapist a) ask them about their training and how long they have been practicing and treating clients.

If you have any doubts seek a counselor who is BAC accredited or UKCP accredited and qualified. Any such practitioner should be BAC or UKCP registered on the professional register of practitioners.

Please take extra special care of yourself right now during this vulnerable time.

I hope some of what I have said may be of use?

Kind Regards Ivan
(ex member of energy stream's practitioners group of therapists).

Oh you poor baby I just want to give you a big hug and say what a brave girl you are to bear this terrible trauma you have had. You must be so heavy in heart to carry this massive burden alone. I know this is terribly hard for you sweetheart but only you can put a stop to this 'animal' from hurting you forever. You must muster up all the strength you can find and
tell someone who can help you. This man has betrayed you
and hurt you so much. He must be stopped before he can hurt you or another young victim again. You have found the inner courage to bear your soul to the Yahoo community, can you do it one more time seetheart and tell someone like Childline or your own doctor? It will be treated with the strictest of confidence. You must do this for your own protection and finally be able to put some closure on this
burden. I am sure you have all the love in the world from the people who love you, they will support you no end darling.
Please prosecute this fiend. Good luck.

Read these for encouragement:

Help for Battered Women! http://watchtower.org/e/20011108/article...

You CAN Fight Pessimism! http://watchtower.org/e/20040422/article...

I used to work at the CAB. We used such organisations as: Victim Support and The Rape Crisis Centre. The Samaritans are the recommended best, for just talking. Most organisations are geared towards criminal prosecution. But the police will give a victim hell on earth to suss them out. This is often worse then the original crime.
Family members may be a best option, until you feel well enough to pursue the criminal. Remember, you could be preventing another episode to another person. Do not bottle this up, just to get on with education. Education can wait.
Talk to your GP, you can request a specific sex if need be.
All of the best to you.
PS: make no mention of details on this or any other site, as this would be seen as victimistion of the offender, and it could assist them during any further prosecution.

Personal Question...?

I have been battling an eating disorder for the past four years. It is still a huge part of my life, but it is slowly getting better every day. I recently talked to my doctor about everything and he prescribed Effexor XR for depression - saying that it would help my eating disorder and my 'out of control' feelings. Well, I have not taken the medication yet, and have been doing a lot or research online about it - and have seen that this particular drug makes you gain a lot of weight when you take it. Because of my past, I don't know if that is something that would be smart for me to do right now.gaining weight is one of my biggest fears in life, and I am terrified of falling back into my eating disorder every day. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with this drug - my doctor says it is not supposed to cause weight gain at all, but can have horrible side effects. Any information would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Answers: I don't see weight gain as a side-effect, but there are several other side-effects that people may experience while taking this drug. Please check out this web site because it lists the side effects that people may experience. I don't know if you went to a medical doctor or a psychiatrist, but there are other drugs on the market with less side effects than Effexor XR for depression. And Effexor XR is hard to come off of. If you are not seeing a psychiatrist, please have your doctor refer you to one for the depression. I work in a psycholgoical field, and I do not feel your doctor may be aware of some of the other medications on the market. Also, there might be a support group that a psychiatrist can refer you too for depression. It might help. If you are battling an eating disorder, are you working with a nutritionist? You should be, it did wonders for me! If you are not, talk to your doctor about it. I know that some health insurances won't pay for it and others will, but I didn't find it to be expensive at all. I thought I knew how to eat healthy, but got quite a surprise after working with the nutritionist! When you feel healthy, you also feel better about yourself! Oh, the web site:

http://www.effexorxr.com/taking.asp

and good luck with everything!

do what you think is best and healty for you and the people around you the love and care for you

good luck

Are you seeing a therapist and involved in group therapy? If so, was it the therapist that prescribed the medication? They must have a reason for doing so. Just because a medicine has side effects doesn't mean that you will have them.

If you aren't in therapy and group therapy, you should really get into them. Getting past an eating disorder is a tough thing to do without support. A psychiatrist or psychologist will be able to greatly help you deal with your feelings and get you back onto the path of being healthy.

I personally wouldn't even get started on Effexor. I've taken it in the past, but I can't say it benefitted me as far as depression goes. There were some very weird side effects the first few days -- it gave me a weird dizzy feeling and I was seeing trails/tracers, where everytime I moved my head -- I don't even know how to describe it other than by saying it was "very strange." When I came off of it, I had withdrawal symptoms that lasted a few days which made it a very difficult drug to come off of. I had to wait until I had a few days off of work so it wouldn't affect my performance or attendance.
As far as losing weight and increasing your mood, look into Adderall, Ritalin, or Dexadrine. I'm not sure if they're used to treat depression, but my wife said her mood got better when taking Adderall.

Well, my mom take it.

I'm not quite sure if i t does or not, but I'm pretty sure that it does. About the eating disorder, you have to be strong about it. Just look at Patrick Stump {{of Fall Out Boy}} and Gerard Way {{of My Chemical Romance}}. They have/had problems with being overweight. Patrick is and everyone points that out, but he doesn't really care. And Gerard was a..er...**cough, cough** chubby when he was younger, but now tons of girls luv him!

I need to be seen for depression but don't have health insurance. Where do I go for help?

I've been really depressed for about 2-3 months straight. It's becoming unbearable and I need to get to a doctor. But without health insurance, how can I get the help I need without going broke?

Answers: Every county has a health department, and most have a department of mental health, too, where you can get psychiatric help as well as ongoing psychotherapy. They will screen you for financial eligibility, and will have a sliding scale for payment. Who knows; you may be eligible for free services, or even Medicaid if you have minor children and meet the financial requirements.
Good luck-- I totally empathize with the way depression paralyzes a person. Hang in there!

You have me. Even when I have insurance, I don't want anybody knowing how screwed up I am -- so I continue to suffer.

Why is my BDD worse when someone wants to love me?/great new boyfriend?Should I tell him I have BDD?

I was fine, not thinking of myself...until I met this great loving guy.. and now it seems all my "issues" are surfacing or purging themselves... and I stay inside, am depressed and avoid social contact even with him who im DYING to see, I love being with him so much but I feel so ugly. This is terrible.
is it really worse now due to meeting him and what can i do about it? he is wonderful.. nothing wrong with him, its just me and he has NO IDEA yet I have this disorder and should I tell him!!??? I feel its just some stupid vain secret I should keep to myself. but I hurt him I think by breaking plans to see him : (

Answers: My understanding (and I could be wrong) is that BDD is usually caused by another underlying problem, generally low self esteem or something. I guess if you don't like yourself much then it's hard to accept somebody else does. Which just gets you thinking about all the reasons why they shouldn't. Just my theory but I think maybe that's why you are feeling worse, even though you would expect having him would make you feel better.

I would definatley talk to him about this. If he doesn't know what's going on he's just going to get confused and wonder why you are pushing him away/avoiding him. If you talk to him then hopefully he will be able to help and support you. If you don't already see someone about this problem I would also recommend seeking help. This isn't something you have to struggle with alone. Nor is a simple matter of vanity. It is a serious disorder, an illness which can be very hard to accept. On the plus side it's treatable, so please do seek help.

If you do decide to talk to your boyfriend I have a few tips, which have helped me when I needed to have upsetting/stressful conversations in the past.
1) Arrange to meet him somewhere you feel safe, such as your home etc. Should give you less to worry about and if you do get upset at least it is in private.
2) Write down what you want to say to him first. It will help you sort it out in your mind and can be helpful to show him if you struggle to start the conversation off. This is also useful if you go to a dr or something.

Best of luck

love, i am an emotional therapist and any of my colleagues can easily deal with your issue. i give you the same advice i gave to other people. find a EFT practitioner in your area. it's cheap and really worth your money. if you are free from BDD you can then decide to tell the story to your BF.
From the way you described your issue it seems you have an inbuilt belief that you don't deserve to be loved. this could have been caused because your emotional self did not feel loved enough in the childhood, or did not feel loved at all, usually by one parent. EFT website: www.emofree.com
Peance and Love

What are some common forms of treatment for Adult ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder?)?

I'm getting tested for Adult ADD in a couple of days. Anyone have experience with this and familiar with how it's treated?

Answers: It's treated, most effectively, with both medications and therapy.

OK I don't know anything about therapy but medications in this arena I know. I'm ADD so they say.

The best, and usually the first prescribed, are the SNRI'S. The best because they are non-addictive--not most effective.

There are three in this class that I know:
Wellbutrin
Newer more effective--Strattera
Sorry can't remember the third, it's new.

OK, the ones that work very effective but come with the down side of being both psychologically and physiologically addictive the Amphetamines. These, of course, have a potential for abuse. This is why docs are very hesitant to prescribe them.

Lowest strength or effectiveness to highest.

RITALIN
Max 20mg three times a day--short acting, half life about 2 hours. This drug has the least down side risk of the amphetamines.

ADDERALL
Max dose, again 60mg per day--60mg has an effective dose of amphetamine of 50mg. Half of that being the stronger drug Dexedrine. Half life, I think, in the non-SR about 4-6 hours.

DEXEDRINE
I’ve been "ON" this drug for three years now. If I had it do choose over I would not have stepped up from Adderall to Dexedrine. Very addictive...
60mg max half life 10 hours in the SR caps.

Then there’s the good old drug our federal government introduced to its citizens in WW2---Methamphetamine.
Don't worry doctors don't prescribe this one any more and for good reason--look at what they did with it in the 50's--Idiots. They prescribed it for everything under the sun--the NEW drug (doctors always prescribe the NEW drug on the block no matter what the H>>> it is). Now this drug is the No. 1 drug of abuse on the street market and destroys many lives.

OK---I have run on here, but I hope my perspective helps you in your choices.

Typical meds:

Ritalin
Adderal
Focalin
Desoxyn
Dexedrine

Provigil isn't yet approved for ADD, but some insurance co's will cover it. It's not a stimulant, which the others are. Some like it a lot more.

Wellbutrin is an antidepressant that helps some as well.

http://www.crazymeds.org has info on all of these written in plain English but with links to the manufacturer patient info sheets and possible some legit studies.

Coping with panic disorder?

ive recently been diagnosed with panic disorder and ive been having a very difficult time with it lately. ive been put on zoloft and given ativan for times when i feel like im going to have an attack. my question is.how can i work on coping with it when im not doing therapy for it? breathing exercizes? i mean anyone who has something that helps them.i need some ideas. i dont want to rely on the ativan my whole life.

Answers: yoga, breathing exercises, listen to music, call a friend, do something absorbing (I play scrabble online.) Try not to think catastrophic thoughts... remember, you are NOT going crazy, you are NOT going to have a heart attack or die and that a panic attack always always subsides.

Good luck!

i have extensive experience in treating panic attacks. i know other methods are out there, i use Emotional Freedom Techniques. although my website is under construction, this article is already uploaded:

http://www.holistic-health-solutions.com...

wishes

It is popular to think that panic disorders or anxiety attacks are caused by the way we think. These are NOT psychological disorders, but are caused by an underlying illness, that can easily be treated by nutritional means. Our emotions of fear are triggered by a physical disease.

Most people with anxiety attacks are found to be hypoglycemic and going on a hypoglycemic diet will dissolve the symptoms in time.

When you feel those "feelings" coming you have to do your best to not let your thoughts make you fall deeper into panic. When I start to feel my heart race and my mind get that crazy feeling I go into my bathroom and sit in front of my mirror. I breath slow and its important to breath in but blow more air out than you are taking in. Really clear your lungs slowly, this helps lower your CO2 levels therefore lowering your heart rate. Also try to control your thoughts, it is amazing how well this works. I will keep saying to myself(out loud)I am not dying, I am OK. The panic is all run by your mind, so if you don't let the thoughts of fear run wild you can bring yourself down to a more controlled situation. You can do it, and your are not alone, so many people have the same issue.

This is one of the few songs that relates to me now.?

Emergency by Paramore. How sad is that? It's always in my head...I almost cry when I hear it, yet, I can't stop listening to it...
I THINK WE REALLY HAVE AN EMERGENCY GOING ON!

Answers: Then maybe you should avoid the song for the moment while you are feeling vulnerable and sensitive. If you are in dire need of help, please talk to your doc, a parent, teacher, colleague, friend or counsellor. If you are big trouble, go to the hospital ER now.

I feel I'am Stuck?

Hi

I’ am 20 years old and I have a good job, but that’s all I have going for me. I started working when I left school. And feel now that I have wasted my life I constantly feel isolated and I can go for days without any human contact. I feel this has driven me to drink nearly every day and has also in turn has ruined my social life, which was small to start off with, I feel I have no one and nobody really cares. Sorry to bore you

Thanks

Answers: no offense, but you do sound stuck. what you need to do is stop drinking. then you will have the ability to go back to college or do something to expand your social life. once you stop drinking, you can get control of your life and not be stuck

best of luck to you!

You are the only one who can change this. It depends on if you REALLY want to or not. Do you want to continue to be depressed and drink everyday or do you really want a life? No one can do this for you. You got yourself into this and you are the only one who can get you out. Why don't you start off by getting help quitting the alcohol:

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/?Med...

try AA you will meet lots of people there just like u

What is the best treatment for rage/anger which is a result of alot of bullying & victimization in your past?

it is the biggest problem i face , intense rage and angry feelings. i control it alot better now, but i still have the intense rage feelings, and still fighting bullies and victimisers of the past.
years ago i used to have frequent rage outbursts whilst out in public, which i regret and am not proud of.where i would just lose it and go into a rage.if i perceived i was threatened in someway, maybe a hostile glare at me could set me off.

iam a bpd sufferer, i have paranoia, persecutory ideas to still that people are against me somehow and are trying to ruin my life.
i really hate feeling this way and want to recover/ im 30 now and just want to overcome & achieve my goals in life, which is to emigrate from the uk and build a new life...maybe the u.s or back to france.
unfortunatly in the present i still feel there are people who try to play mind games with me and want to socially ostracize me...which is very difficult when you struggle with rage..the only friends i have are

Answers: You have to consider the possibility that your rage colors the way you see things and that things may NOT actually be as they seem when you're in the grip of paranoia.

You do need a professional, and I hope you get one soon. I never had bpd, just severe depression, but I did think for a while that I had enemies. Looking back, I'm sure these people were barely aware I was alive, but I interpreted everything I saw as negatively as possible. Thoughts about them made me feel terrible and almost took over my life.

To start getting better, one of the things I had to learn how to do was to question the things I believed and see whether they really made sense. So my therapist made me write in a journal whenever I felt my emotions were getting out of control. Then I would examine what I'd written and see whether it was likely that things were as I saw them as I was writing them. I HATE journal writing. But I was scared enough to do what she told me, and it actually became a valuable tool.

I hope you get the professional help you need soon. In the meantime, avoid people who are not helping you. Read. Find soothing activities that do not require you to go into intimidating social situations. And realize that people may NOT be playing mind games with you, and even if they were - you don't have to feel bad about it. You can choose (or learn to choose) a way of looking at things that will allow you to function, and that's the first baby step we all have to take.

It's not about the bullies anymore. It's about you, and only you.

Sometimes in life we feel as if, when we have a disease it's our fault. I'm sorry to hear about your disorder, but what about your order. The times when your at your best.The person you are today is a much stronger and patient person and you should look at this as a positive change from where you have been. Change is good. When ever you start getting those persecutory ideas, think about who's in control. It's you, for once in your life take control and don't let this disorder ruin the best in/of you. This is your life, live it to the fullest and don't feel sorry for your self, that does not help, because i know that your better off than a lot of people in this world .
Remember your in control.

This is fixable and won't be a life sentence for you. Treatment through counselling and maybe medication will take the edge off your very complex situation and allow you to live a rich, full life.

Remember, what's caused your hurt and anger is in the past, which you now are in a position to stop it from controlling a bright and promising future.

Good luck in building your new life, but remember while turning over a new leaf is great, your problems will only follow you unless you address them now.

i also had an anger problem in the past which caused me back pain, irritable bowel syndrome, sleeping disorders. i resolved it with emotional freedom techniques. you can try it on your own and download their free manual. (www.emofree.com). best of luck

How do you think positively when youve been wronged, humiliated, brutalized, ridiculed & suffered?

psychological mind games being played with you the majority of your life.
then after all that, you hit 30, have never had any of your needs fullfilled, never made any friends, never had a partner, are aging prematurley, live alone, are lonely, have no one to turn to, was sexually abused twice growing up, was bullied throughout high school....have BPD and PTSD to live with.. never been employed.never had any qualifications.have a long mental health history...was in a mental hospital for 18 months because you grossly over exagerated your problems to get help, they took you seriously, then sent you there...youve been assaulted by street gangs.had your head split open..been homeless for a year.have a minor criminal record..

so c'mon...tell me, what is there to think positive about ?

how can i ever at this late stage of 30 with no prospects accomplish my dreams & goals of emigrating and building a new life away from the uk? how can i find love?

Answers: I suffer from depression, chronic pain and fatigue. I get really down and it makes it tough for anyone who knows me to watch me tumble into another, deeper state of depression. So, I kind of understand what you're going through.

It truly sucks, even with all the medications and doctors and people telling you to 'cheer up' it'll get better. It only does when that black cloud of depression passes and there's a few days I may feel like what I perceive 'normal' people do.

It sounds like you've been through so many bad experiences in your life and I feel horribly for you. It won't all go away overnight and I wish stuff like that would, cuz I wish my stuff would go away, too.

All I can tell you is to stay true to yourself and don't define yourself by the hateful, hurtful people that left scars on your life and well being. When you get a moment, minute, hour, day that you feel good, soak it up and enjoy!

Be good to yourself and do nice things for yourself. Don't wait for other people to do it for you, because it rarely happens. Take care of number one: YOU.

If you take medications be sure to take them everyday, even if you think you feel better and don't need them. The reason you feel better is because the meds are likely working.

If you see a therapist be sure to keep those appointments because they are for the you you want to become. If you don't like your therapist then shop for a better one. You deserve the best.

If outsiders are ruining things for you. Get rid of those people and only keep people in your life that make you feel good about you and you truly feel good about. Shutting out bad influences and hurtful or mean people is a good thing. You deserve good things!

Save your money and find a place that makes you feel good and make it your own. Only bring people into that place who treat you with the dignity and respect that you deserve.

Save your money and buy yourself something nice each month or payday. It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive because the smallest things can bring joy.

You are your own best friend and you deserve to have only good people around you.

As I write this, I am trying to convince myself of these very things and I know, from experience, how tough it is. I am practicing at it, too. I recently stopped taking calls from a so-called friend who made me feel bad about myself or wanted to argue all the time or had to be right all the time. Talking to this woman drained me, so I stopped calling her and don't answer the phone when she calls. She got the message and I feel much better for it.

It took a lifetime to feel like this, so it will take work and time to reverse it. I don't know if any of this helps, but please know that you're not alone. We're out here too and feel lousy and betrayed and hurt and it's no fun.

hey!

i think there is no fucin way.
i was abused in junior and juniorhighschool and there is a consquensis on me...
i don't thrust to no one any more.
i dont have friends in highschool, becouse girls afraid me becouse i wear blac all the time.
offcorse i am much better than in that time.
so the only way is time...
time can cure yo, but bring more suffer ...
i just can tell, the persons who started distroy thair own lives, or person who's life been destroyed by others ,... will always suffer or become criminals, abuses, lonly and stuffs..

sorry on my english i am japanese!

FIRST DON'T BE SO NEGATIVE, LOOK WE ALL GO THROW SOME REALLY BAD STUFF ,BUT WE HAVE TO AT LEAST TRY TO LOOK AT AS EVERY THING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. IF YOU WERE REALLY WORTH NOTHING TRUST YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE RIGHT NOW WOULD YOU?
ASK YOUR SELF THAT . WE ALL HAVE THE POWER TO TURN ARE LIEFS AROUND IF WE WANT TO .HOPE YOU FIND INNER PEACE. AND YOU DO HAVE SOMETHING POSITVE YOUR HERE TELLING YOUR STORY

my experience is not so different from yours and i have what i currently have only because i'm on a government disability. for the most part, i hate my life because i feel like i got ripped off. i never asked for this. however, i do have moments where it's tolerable. usually it's because i've turned away from myself and focused on others because it helps me forget my own problems at least in the short term. as far as having everything you ever wanted - moving, relationship, etc? i think the best way is small steps AND to look very carefully at whether or not you're sabotaging your own attempts. allow yourself to be okay with the small things. if you were feeling horrible and yet managed to get up in the morning and out the door - that's important. all of those small things start to add up. and when i get really discouraged, i look back at where i've been and try to be grateful that i'm not there anymore.

well you take those things and you try to use them to encourage yourself to work harder for the things you want.. religion also helped me...
their are ways to work through the bad.. ways to make life better for you.. take an awful past and use it to help you to have a better future..
take classes... and take self defence... or get a gun!
then earn a degree..
i have bp also.. it makes bad things worse i noticed.. when others would naturally look past things in their past we tend to look right at them and let them hold us back.. but hun you have to find a goal for yourself to look forword to... and then work twards it.. keep qa jornal.. and then when your feeling blue look back at what you have achived. e-mail me.. maybe we can help eachother?

Why don't you just chin up and tell yourself that you CAN do it. First step, clean yourself up and get yourself a job, even if it is a low level job, it's a start. After you've got a job and a source of income (that you created) you'll begin to feel a little bit better. Next step start working on yourself, instead of telling yourself that you are worthless, tell yourself that you are worth something. Maybe start exorcising and eating healthy. After that things should be starting to look up, and you'll be on your way to accomplishing those goals that at one time seemed so far away. Don't just sit on your a55 and feel sorry for youself all day, get up and start taking control of your life. No one can make you think positively but yourself.
Good Luck!

You can think positively by just doing something positive and thinking about it. First you can forgive from the bottom of your heart and soul all those who have wronged you, humiliated you, brutalized you, ridiculed you and made you suffer. Then think about what that means; it means you have started out on a new life with all the old hurts done away with and a bright new future that you have dreamed about ahead of you. Think about it all the time and don't dredge up any more the memories of all those bad things.

GOOD LUCK IN YOUR LIFE, GOOD MENTAL HEALTH, PEACE AND LOVE!

Hang on, and hang in there! It CAN and DOES get better if you're willing to go through the hoops for the HELP that IS out there!

From the sounds of things, you are receiving governmental assistance. There are several places across the U.S.A. that offer D.B.T. as part of their "public" Mental Health Departments. D.B.T. - Dialectical Behavioral Therapy - has a wonderfully high success for BPD - one of THE most difficult Disorders to effectively treat. ... And one of THE most painful to live with.

I don't want to sound like a "commercial", but I soooooooo believe it could give you A LIFE WORTH LIVING if you chose to seek professional DBT-type help ... start by asking your CURRENT psychiatrist about what programs are available to you.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN WHAT YOU ARE FEELING, WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH. PLEASE KNOW TOO, THAT THERE IS HELP. ... Check out the words of encouragement that have already been sent to you in this "thread". ... And "shine-on" the "nay-sayers" ...

One who is finally learning to have A LIFE WORTH LIVING at age 48.

P.S. : You see, Dearest, if I can do this at my age, you certainly can do it at yours! ... YOU GO, GIRL!

I have borderline personality disorder & refractory depression w/ anxiety. I'm only 25, with a four year old plus another one due in a month.

I've been on almost every anti-depressant, anti-psychotic, anti-anxiety, mood stabilizer, and sleep aid that exists, and NOTHING works. I've seen a psychiatrist and therapist for 16 years, & been hospitalized 7 times, and it still doesn't work. I see my therapist once a week and my shrink once a month.

I am WANTING to have electroshock therapy after I give birth.

I am sorry to say that I don't have any advice, but I just wanted you to know that I UNDERSTAND how you are feeling and that you're not alone. Living w/ BPD is living in hell. In BPDers medication doesn't always help. I agree with the Dialectical Behavior Therapy. I tried it, but had to drop out, and I'm wanting to try it again. However it only works it you APPLY it and it is also a lot of work & it's long term therapy.

I completely understand & share your negativity! It is so easy for these other people to say ''cheer up'' "chin up" "look on the bright side" "quit feeling sorry for yourself" ect ect but they have no clue what we go through and that as BPDers we don't HAVE control over out emotions. That's why BPD is also called Emotional Regulation Disorder. No body knows what you've been through, the trauma you've had to endure and the pain you feel, so it's easy for them to say those things.

Marsha Lineham (the lady who created DBT) stated that "People with BPD are like people with third degree burns over 90% of their bodies. Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement."

Good Luck hun.

Depressed, dont know If I should stay at school.?

Im an 18 yr old freshmen at a small university in New England. At first I was nervous about leaving all my friends at home, which is 6 hours away. They all went to the same school, i was the only one who left. Anyway now I have made a friend group with my floor, and i try to meet as many people as possible, but none of the friends i've met here are even close to being as important to me as the ones i left behind. Lately i've been waking up with horrible stomach and chest pain and im in a depressed mood. I go to my schools counseling center, it helped a little but its starting to come back again. I am not comfortable with things like dating, sex, and the overall scene. I am a virgin and i feel like the only one. I just dont have the same confidence as i felt when around my home friends. All I want to do is go back and time and live my life differently and stay with my old friends. I dont know if i should stay here or transfer or just drop out all together. I dont want to be a failure.

Answers: I think you're just experiencing some major home-sickness...basically the shock of being in a totally different environment. If you stay, you will become a much stronger person.
I would take on this challenge and don't worry about the fact that you are a virgin. As they say there is always a silver lining to every cloud. The perks of being a virgin= no worries about unwanted pregnancies, no HIV or other std's, and, if you are religious, God will look favorably to you. Or if you are just spiritual, then some of them would say that the good thing is that you are not dispersing/wasting your spiritual energy.
As far as friends go...having friends take time. Of course, your new friends won't be as close and understanding as your old friends...you have not spent as much as time with them!
You won't be a failure as long as you try. When you feel down and out, just really put your energies into your studies and maybe take on some extracurricular activity. Why? You'll perk up more as you start to succeed and gain more accomplishments. Remember- it just takes a lot of time and work to get the life you want together. Going back home probably is not a simple thing either. What will you do about a career? What will you learn (about the world and yourself) if you are always in a comfortable/familiar environment? You are still young, so you need to test your boundaries and push yourself to your limit.
Feel free to e-mail me anytime. I totally understand what it's like to feel like the odd one out and I found a way out of that.
It's really a matter of changing your perception of life.

Why would you leave? You are feeling EXACTLY the same thing 99% of all freshmen (all over the world) are feeling.
You will see your friends again and you know you are not the only virgin. Now, come on. Quit it. You are trying to make an excuse to quit school and go home to see your friends. That is something you will regret almost immediately and for the rest of your life. Stop thinking about what you don't have at the moment and start focusing on what is right in front of you. Quit whining!

Return to the counseling center.
They're well prepared for your situation.
I'm certain they advised you to do so.

This too will pass.

It will take time to develop close friendships with the people at your new school. I would be surprised if the new people were as important to you as your old,lifelong friends. That's not how things work.

You should keep on with the counseling. You also should not feel pressured to date or certainly not to have sex. Have you tried getting involved with a church in your area? You might find like-minded people there. Be assured that you are not the only virgin. Most of the guys you hear talking are doing a lot more talk than action.

You should stick it out until the end of the semester at the very least. I think you should try for a whole year. Freshman year is tough on most students, with being away from home for the first extended period of time, academic pressures, social adjustments, etc. Give it some time.

I agree with bmac

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