My infirm pastor say he "used" to be an alcoholic. I don't ruminate within is such a item is within?
I went to some AA meetings when I notice I was drinking a 12 pack a day everyday after work & thought I might have a problem. I won't read aloud what I have substittuted in place of booze. I'll just right to be heard it's non-toxic.I know I am predispoed to having an addictive personality since my father was an alcoholic & my mother have a slight gambling problem that has left her bankrput.
I well-educated there is no such thing as "used to be an alcoholic" .It's like addiction. Once an user you're still an addict. Even if you've gone to treatment & worked the 12 steps you're still a "recovering" addict. Is it the same near alcohlism. Once you're an alcoholic: you are always one & a sober alcoholic is still a recovering one. I know a lot about addiction since it runs on both sides of my inherited but I am looking for any outside input, feedback, or experiences IF you feel comfortable sharing them.
Was I wrong not to feel that much sadness when he passed? I know it was coming it just happened so hurried. He wasn't much of a dad: he rarely paid child support & I won't ramble on how he cheated on my mom & stayed out drinking sometimes all darkness. My 2 questions would be "Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic" correct & Am I a bad party for not feeling that sad when he passed? Someone needs to correct my former pastor & bring up to date he's STILL an alcoholic: but a recovering one. I apologize for being long-winded. It's part of MY disorder.
Answers:
How many ex-smokers do you know that describe themselves as smokers?
This foolishness is straight out of Alcoholics Anonymous. Over the years they enjoy been much more successful in selling the ideas of their program than they own been in helping people quit drinking. Things close to, "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic" (lifetime membership) and the idea that people cannot quit on their own (another gambit to increase membership).
The truth is that AA is a quasi-religious group more interested surrounded by "spreading the word" than anything else.
"To some people we need not, and probably should not emphasize the spiritual characteristic on our first approach. We might prejudice them. At the moment we are trying to put our lives in order. But this is not an end surrounded by itself. Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us." Big Book, pg 76-77.
The truth is that most ancestors, once they realize they have a problem, quit or learn to moderate on their own. AA members will dispute this until they are blue within the face, but that doesn't change facts.
"Another estimate is that at least 50% of alcoholics eventually free themselves although one and only 10% are ever treated. One recent study found that 80% of all alcoholics who recover for a year or more do so on their own, some after being unsuccessfully treated. When a group of these self-treated alcoholics be interviewed, 57% said they simply decided that alcohol was bad for them. Twenty-nine percent said form problems, frightening experiences, accidents, or blackouts persuaded them to quit. Others used such phrases as "Things were building up" or "I be sick and tired of it." Support from a husband or wife was important in sustaining the resolution."
Treatment of Drug Abuse and Addiction — Part III, The Harvard Mental Health Letter, October 1995. Source(s): EX-alcoholic, sober since 8/4/01
mental form worker, primarily with those who also have substance abuse issues
owner of the Yahoo group "without_aa":
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/wit…
You are correct.
I work in a drug and alcohol treatment center and most of the CAP's (certified addiction professionals) within are in recovery. They NEVER, EVER say they be an alcoholic. They always say they ARE an alcoholic, in taking back. You are absolutely correct. Your pastor may have had a drinking problem that he corrected but if he be an alcoholic, he's still one, just in recovery in a minute (hopefully).
And as for not feeling that bad about your Dad's demise, well, that's what he earned didn't he? He was your Dad but he be never a nurturing loving father to you. So no, you are not wrong not to feel that bad about his endorsement. It's over now.
And just to be picky (MY disorder), your Mom has more than a "small" having a bet habit if she went bankrupt.
Ok, that 'Always an Alcoholic' article is not true. I know plenty of people who quit completely and 40 years later, never picked up something like that during any of that time term.
If you quit for 40 years and still are not drinking, does that make you still an alcoholic? :/
Also there are people who drink a margarita or a moment ago a simple beer when with friends. Would that make them an alcoholic because they drank it? I see that your father drank a lot, but sticking to the imaginative question, "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic?" you give me accepted wisdom.
And it is not wrong for not being too at your father's passing. He was your father, and similar to everyone else, he had a life and choices to make. Things are the means of access things are and either way, as previously stated, he is still your father and you have every right to have a feeling the way you feel.
it seem most people say recovering, maybe culture don't like using that term recovering alcoholic, i used to drink a lot and be maybe in denial about the residence alcoholic but when people ask me if i'm still drinking i just simply say no, i don't ring up myself a used to be alcoholic or recovering alcoholic. Are you upset about this because of your dad? Maybe if you asked your pastor if he considers himself an recovering alcoholic. About your dad, your feelings are your feelings, to touch how you want to feel your not wrong but maybe someday you'll forgive him in your heart. And i'm in the region of 8 yrs older so i hopoe i'm considered in close range
They other say once an addict, always an user, but maybe he was speaking from a Biblical point of view since you're supposed to speak of what you really want to ensue or be like. I hope that makes sense lol.
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