Depression, I only just want warning and assist.?
I'll just start off by saying I'm lost.
I'm 16 and I use to own insomnia problems worse then currently. More likely from being raise for the first few years of my life by a schizophrenic mom who tended to beat and take home horrific faces at me. I can't take medicine for the insomnia effect I'm already on medicine that effects my nerves from being fucked up in a 2nd hip surgery. I be born with my legs messed up.
I live with my aunt and uncle. who fight none stop.(who doesn't own that last part though, right? I know that. the next piece is what makes me firstly a bit lost.) I'm sure I can't be the only one to deal next to this, but they like to play a little game where on earth they bring me into the room during their fight, and tell me something bad in the region of the other during the fight, and look at me expectantly, expecting me to agree with them in front of the other parent.
Mind games. I know what it is. But I know my antipathy to these things shouldn't really be to simply go back to my room with no reaction toward it much.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad just to have a home and food and this computer. But I be hoping I was done with the every day stresses when I gone my mom and was put in a foster home. It use to be worse when I first lived with them so I should be obliged for it only being this I know. My uncle used to be on meth and all sorts of ****. motivation of his addicts hes had open heart surgery and stroke after stroke and drools when he dialogue now.
But It just also bothers me sometimes when my does things she does. Shes a very proud women who doesn't believe she can do any wrong and worse give or take a few that is she likes to insult me and everyone else when shes simply mad and her favorite mode is by using what will give her the most visible gratification out of it. Things that personally hurt us most.
I use to dumbly cut, but I've found living for my own personal reasonings such my art help me get by. but only for so long. which i guess is my problem i donno.
living with situations such as what my parents currently are resembling and doing, especially when they tend to like to vent to me, as if I'm their friend because they don't have friends really. they don't have time to hold on to strong relationships like that.
maybe someone out there know a online psychologist i can talk to or something to get me by? we don't have money for kith and kin counciling. I've only mentioned one half of it all. i don't want to complain, i basically want to be happy, and maintain my life as an artist...but its effecting that, i cant achieve inspiration anymore.
know of any online or free ways of psychology help?
I don't really have friends to turn to that can help me much. They any pry into my life in unnecessary ways to sait their curiosity or just don't protection.
Thanks.
Answers:
I'm an older guy (43) and your family sounds a lot resembling the one that brought me up. Man, those were some bad years. On the other hand, you are 16 near only 2 more years to go, which sound close to a long time but it will go by quickly. You have your art. That is something I didn't enjoy when I was young. Maybe sports.
If you can just hold on for two more years you can be in motion to a good art school and continue the article you are good at and you won't have those guys as a problem anymore. You just get to stay with the art and remember that you aunt and uncle have mental problems and what is going on at your house isn't your fault. You don't stipulation a psychologist, they do. If I was you I would just disappear into my art and work on getting maybe some scholarship for a good school. You can get them ( I even get them and I'm nothing special ). Good luck
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